Love is larger than the walls that shut it in

"I am not your servant." How many times have I felt like saying that to my children? And my husband, for that matter?! The problem then arises: I want to have a servant's heart! I would call this a dilemma. So, how do I serve my family with an attitude of service and not want to tell them to do it themselves? How do I not angrily say to the child sitting on the sofa watching TV while I unload the groceries, "You now have food!"? How am I supposed to teach them to do for themselves and not wait for someone else to do for them, and to serve one another at the same time? When I come behind them and wipe up the crumbs they left or I put the dish in the dishwasher they didn't take time to do, is this serving them or am I doing them a disservice by not making them learn to do for themselves?

I have struggled with this issue for years (my oldest now being 25) and still have not found an answer that is satisfying. I keep saying that love is an action. Taking care of my family is an expression of love. But where do I draw the line and make them learn to do for themselves? I guess I will just keep doing because the day is coming all too fast when there won't be any children to clean up after. Now the trick is to do it with a servant's heart!