Another "Last"
My last child now has a driver's license. I knew this day would come, and it is a bit freeing for me, but...
So many of the things in my life are coming to an end this year. I now have no more children that I have to teach to drive. First thing Moriah said when we got in the car after she passed her driver's test was that I am no longer in instructor mode, now I am in critique mode. As nice as that sounds, to me it is just another "last" I will be going through over the next few months.
Sure, it will be nice to have another person to send to the store for a few items when I don't want to get out. And it will be nice that she can take herself to dance and bring herself home instead of having to stop whatever I may be doing in order to make the run. I'm sure she will be glad not to have to rely on having someone be able to take her where she wants/needs to go.
However, while her world is opening up for her, mine is going through another closing. I am relieved I do not have to experience that learning driver syndrome again (it can be a very harrowing experience!). I do not have to arrange what I need to do to take/pick her up. I can actually watch all of "The Biggest Loser" without interruption now!
This is my last year to "teach" any of my children. Next year, Moriah's senior year, she will do all of her schoolwork without our "class" time; she will work independently, while I only oversee, grade tests and such. My life has been consumed with homeschooling for the past 23 years and now the end is not only in sight, it is screaming at me. My life is about to change drastically.
Am I ready for this change? Do I welcome this change? Am I afraid of this change? Some times I want to turn the clock back and relive the days when all my children were with me all day, every day. Other times I am glad the hectic days are behind me and my daily routine is much more relaxed. I know I have plenty to do to fill my days (I see lots of Amelia and Claire time ahead), but just knowing another "last" is waiting in the wings is a bit sad.
So many of the things in my life are coming to an end this year. I now have no more children that I have to teach to drive. First thing Moriah said when we got in the car after she passed her driver's test was that I am no longer in instructor mode, now I am in critique mode. As nice as that sounds, to me it is just another "last" I will be going through over the next few months.
Sure, it will be nice to have another person to send to the store for a few items when I don't want to get out. And it will be nice that she can take herself to dance and bring herself home instead of having to stop whatever I may be doing in order to make the run. I'm sure she will be glad not to have to rely on having someone be able to take her where she wants/needs to go.
However, while her world is opening up for her, mine is going through another closing. I am relieved I do not have to experience that learning driver syndrome again (it can be a very harrowing experience!). I do not have to arrange what I need to do to take/pick her up. I can actually watch all of "The Biggest Loser" without interruption now!
This is my last year to "teach" any of my children. Next year, Moriah's senior year, she will do all of her schoolwork without our "class" time; she will work independently, while I only oversee, grade tests and such. My life has been consumed with homeschooling for the past 23 years and now the end is not only in sight, it is screaming at me. My life is about to change drastically.
Am I ready for this change? Do I welcome this change? Am I afraid of this change? Some times I want to turn the clock back and relive the days when all my children were with me all day, every day. Other times I am glad the hectic days are behind me and my daily routine is much more relaxed. I know I have plenty to do to fill my days (I see lots of Amelia and Claire time ahead), but just knowing another "last" is waiting in the wings is a bit sad.
Your post made me think of this book that my mom gave me - I think when Dmitri was born. I tear up every time I read it! I think you might like it. = )
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.com/Let-Me-Hold-You-Longer/dp/1414300557/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1359677170&sr=8-1&keywords=let+me+hold+you+longer
You're schooling days aren't over. You're totally going to teach my kids to read! haha
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